Might Delete Later is abbreviated as โM.D.L.โ in the phrase โfelt cute, might delete later.โ For those who experience body dysmorphia, such as the artist Trouble Bunny, this sentiment is especially meaningful. The unspoken motivations behind a thirst trap are discussed in M.D.L. A peek inside the mind of the attractive but frail girl who wrote it, hidden behind the mirror selfie. Check out the exclusive interview below:
1. Can you tell us a bit about where you come from and how it all got started?
TROUBLE BUNNY: Growing up, my parents were migrant farmers for a lot of my childhood and eventually we settled in a very remote, rural town. It was so detached from everything that I really only was exposed to music that my parents listened to or what I was taught in school, until I finally got internet access when I was in middle school. I always wanted to be more experimental, but I also loved studying music theory and learning to play different instruments. I had a lot of friends who made classical music or played in drum lines and marching bands, but it wasnโt until I was in my 20s that I started making friends who made pop or rock music or could rap.
2. Did you have any formal training or are you self-taught?
TROUBLE BUNNY: Yes, I took all the music classes I could get into, played in the orchestras and sang in the choirs, all of that stuff. Music theory was the only math I was really good at, and I was a music theory tutor in college. Iโm a fast learner, but definitely slower when I have to teach myself anything.
3. Who were your first and strongest musical influences and why the name โTROUBLE BUNNYโ?
TROUBLE BUNNY: I was born in eastern Texas in March of 1995, the same month Selena Quintanilla-Perez was murdered there. My sisters and I loved watching the J-Lo movie about her life, and even though thereโs very little sonic influences from her in my music for this project, I have always been inspired by her spirit, innovation and fashion sense. In my former music projects, I felt really strongly influenced by artists like Enya and Beach House. In this chapter, Iโm leaning fully into my Charli XCX era. I went with the name trouble bunny because I like the way it feels like giving myself a kiss when I say it, and because I love bunnies and getting into mischief.
4. What do you feel are the key elements in your music that should resonate with listeners, and how would you personally describe your sound?
TROUBLE BUNNY: I really put the most thought into the lyrics. Itโs a tough thing to balance being honest and candid in my words while still writing catchy and fun pop lyrics. Iโm trying to paint a clear picture in a short time frame. In my head I describe my sound as cloud-informed and hyperpop-adjacent, but thatโs really pretentious on paper and implies I fit outside those categories when really I think I just barely fall short of them. Iโm just detail oriented and wear my influences on my sleeve.
5. For most artists, originality is first preceded by a phase of learning and, often, emulating others. What was this like for you? How would you describe your own development as an artist and music maker, and the transition towards your own style, which is known as POP?
TROUBLE BUNNY: When I was growing up and exploring the alt world on Tumblr I was really into artists like Kitty and hyperpop artists, especially PC Music affiliates like SOPHIE, Hannah Diamond, AG Cook, GFOTY and Charli XCX. For the longest time I could only appreciate them by listening and had no idea how to switch from my classically trained background to making anything electronic. I didnโt know what a DAW was because I was in a sheet music reading bubble. As an artist I was composing neo-classical and ambient music, or playing real instruments or singing backing vocals in bands. Eventually I made some producer friends who had the patience to teach me and they helped me get over my fear of GarageBand and Logic. It seemed like they were magical wizards who could do things I could not until I started watching tutorials and looking up my production questions on Reddit. I still have to push past my imposter syndrome to make the music that I dream of making, but Iโm sticking with it because I want to be a pop star and make my inner child proud.
6. Whatโs your view on the role and function of music as political, cultural, spiritual, and/or social vehicles โ and do you try and affront any of these themes in your work, or are you purely interested in music as an expression of technical artistry, personal narrative, and entertainment?
TROUBLE BUNNY: I may not use this project in an explicitly political way but I am at my heart a little bit of a fighter and started participating in environmental and human rights activism really young. I like to think my values come attached to me as a part of who I am. I have always struggled with separation of art from artist when it comes to certain things, like if a white artist says the N word or something transphobic, I wonโt be able to listen to their music without thinking about it and getting a bit uncomfortable. I think thatโs because I see musicians as cultural figureheads even if theyโre relatively underground or donโt have too much of a public presence. Itโs a big choice to put yourself out there and broadcast your ideas and thoughts by releasing music, so itโs important to me that I do that in a way that doesnโt add to imbalances and unfairness. If someone likes my music and wants to look me up, I donโt want a bunch of Reddit results discussing whether or not I have fascist qualities to pop up. As a musician I do mainly want people to listen to my music and I want it to be enjoyable for them. But I want it to be clear that behind the music, Iโm a real person with a lot of thoughts and I care about the state of the world.
7. Could you describe your creative processes? How do usually start, and go about shaping ideas into a completed song? Do you usually start with a tune, a beat, or a narrative in your head? And do you collaborate with others in this process?
TROUBLE BUNNY: I remember a songwriting exercise led by David Longstreth about writing lyrics using a phrase you say a lot instead of trying to be too poetic. He demonstrated by writing a song in like five minutes called โGoblin Modeโ and it became a big part of my process. In my former projects I agonized over choosing beautiful words when I wrote. With this project, my songs are like diary entries. I wrote M.D.L. lyrics first, around the social media mantra โfelt cute, might delete laterโ and then I got stuck. It took a lot of collaboration to finish the whole song. My friend Yalcy Mailliw who mixed and mastered it for me had previously suggested I practice recreating beats that I like to get better at using a DAW, and they had suggested I recreate the track I.D.L. by Life Sim. Itโs got this really euphoric arpeggio thatโs interpolated by Idyll by AG Cook and Track 10 by Charli XCX, two songs I listen to on repeat. We decided to useย a stretched and slowed version of the arpeggio as the progression of the beat, and since the working title was โmight delete laterโ it seemed like a sign that it shortened perfectly to M.D.L.โso the reference is really clear. I also wanted to honor the memory of SOPHIE since she had a huge impact on me and the sound I was going for, so I used some of her signature effects and drums. Conceptually my songs fit into place like Tetris blocks as the original idea plus little tributes to whatever sonic influences I want to showcase get held together by spit and a prayer.
8. What has been the most difficult thing youโve had to endure in your life or music career so far?
TROUBLE BUNNY: Two things come to mind. The first is the experience I had in late 2019 of losing my dad very suddenly and losing my dog at almost the same time, and then having a medical emergency that almost ended my life. The trauma from that few weeks literally damaged my brain and took a lot of my fun and happy qualities away and I quit music for a long time afterwards. Iโd also say that even though it has been a struggle for many years and I canโt pin it to one moment or cause, living with an eating disorder has also made my creative process difficult in many ways. When I stop taking care of myself, I stop making music. I see potential in songwriting as an outlet and coping skill, but when I feel like I have nothing worth sharing, I tend to go silent.
9. With social media having a heavy impact on our lives and the music business in general, how do you handle criticism, haters, and/or naysayers in general? Is it something you pay attention to, or simply ignore?
TROUBLE BUNNY: My song M.D.L. is basically about my relationship with social media and wanting to please people and present myself as a really idealized version so that more people like me. Like I said in the song, I am my own worst hater. But I am aware that putting myself out there as a woman, writing songs that are partly about my body, and being pretty vulnerable and exposed is bound to lead to scrutiny and comparison. What matters to me more is the people who hear what Iโm saying and can connect and relate to the meaning behind my music, rather than the people who donโt like my voice or the mix or things like that. I havenโt noticed too many haters or mean comments yet. I have a feeling some of them are going to be pretty funny, so I look forward to those.
10. Do you think is it important for fans of your music to understand the real story and message driving each of your songs, or do you think everyone should be free to interpret your songs in their own personal way?
TROUBLE BUNNY: On the one hand, I want people to just dance and have a good time, and if people have fun listening to music Iโm happy. If itโs a close friend or another songwriter listening, I hope theyโre paying a little more attention to what I have to say. Itโs a lot deeper than it sounds, and writing songs in my authentic voice like diary entries is like offering the chance to really understand me to anyone who listens. But a lot of people have described M.D.L. as a bimbo song, or sexy, or said my voice sounds like a Kardashian, and even though I feel like thatโs a very surface-level read of it, Iโm happy to hear people also get that I have a sense of humor and donโt care too much. Not everything has to be serious, but if you are serious, Iโm here for you.
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